There are few things in this world that scares me, like heights. I’ve had the biggest fear of heights for as long as I can remember. My fear isn’t always triggered by the same thing, but it usually pops out whenever there is a open space, like when I’m standing near a cliff. The thought alone of Bungy jumping or skydiving would almost have me in tears. When I set out on this trip I had one goal, one thing I refused to leave Australia without completing. That goal was skydiving. And you bet I finally did it!! I can’t believe I actually went through with it, but am so I glad, and proud of myself, for doing it. It’s the best thing I have ever done in my life. I was trembling with fear, and I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry, and I wanted to scream for being scared. Skydiving is not only scary if you’ve never done it before, but it’s a very emotional thing to do. It brings up a lot of scary feelings. The day before I kept repeating the words “I can do it, I want to do it, I will do it, I am doing it” like a mantra. I booked my skydive the day before because I know myself well enough to know, given enough time, I would back out and cancel, even it meant losing everything I’d payed for. My instructor, Richard, came over while we waited for the last clients to check in, to chat up a little bit. His calm presence helped me stay relaxed, all that stress went away. I felt calm after that, until we were up in the air. Those little airplanes are no where near the same as the big ones. You definitely feel this 10 times more. The door was also right in front of me. My panick didn’t start until the captain announced it was time to jump out. There was one girl before me, thank god I wasn’t going first. “Just stay calm” Richard says, right before the door goes up. “Remember, stay calm”. And swoosh down she went. “Oh my god, ooooooh my god, oooh my god” was all I could say. F***. No turning back now. I went up in the plane, but my mind refused to grasp what was about to happen. I wasn’t really going to go through with it, right? Pfff, no. No. NO! Before I could start negotiating not having to go through with it, my instructor had scooped us out to the door and my feet was dangling outside of the plane, my head pulled back. Oh shit. This is it. All of a sudden I feel the wind everywhere, those 200km/h hits me hard in my stomach. Thank god the instructor wore earplugs because I was screaming, with full lung capacity.
I opened my eyes and it took 2 seconds from we exited the plane, for me to realize I was flying. All that fear went straight away. I was blasted with amazement. This extreme euphoric feeling of happiness and wonder. A burst of laughter and a non stop scream of victory with “this is so awesome!!” In those seconds where we were free falling, I was high, high on life!! I felt so alive, more alive than I have ever felt in the longest of times. Last but not least, I felt so proud of myself for going through with it, and pushing myself to the maximum. Not letting fear dictate how I live my life. It’s scary, but not doing the things your heart yearns for, is even more scarier. Skydiving is one of those things you can’t explain, it’s something you need to discover for yourself. If you dare to jump, I can promise you, what you will experience is an out-of-this-world sensation. So what are you waiting for?